SPRING IS FOR RESURRECTION

Spring is the perfect time for starting new projects and taking action that brings us into greater awareness of our constant and irrefutable interdependence with Nature. As a creature whose nervous system is keyed to respond to everything from the amount of daylight to the planet’s magnetic field, we have the soaring birthing energy of Spring available to us right now as wind at our backs.

I suggest that you use that energy to resurrect the feeling, noticing, being that you truly are. Every time you hear the birds, see a nest, or take a deep breath of sweet spring air, the ancient, vast, always calm Being that you are stirs a little. Wakes a little. And the power and magic of our interconnectedness rises to the surface and reminds us, with every bud and leaf, that we are creatures who sail through time supported by an immense web of connection.

This is the time of year when daydreams lure us away from work and obligations, when our dreams call to us, drawing us towards our desires and our potential.  It’s the time when our imaginations, ignited by the spring rains, bursting blossoms and quickened earth make us pregnant with hopes and wishes. Alert us to who we might become and what adventures we might have if only we allowed ourselves to follow those urges and act on those desires.

Don’t inhibit yourself. Don’t stuff those dreams in your sock drawer or let your mental noise force you to ignore those urges in favor of some usual distraction or obligation. Put your bare feet on the earth. Lie under the night sky and let yourself fly free. Dance on the water’s edge at sunrise and call your desires forth, making plans and taking actions that honor these deep and powerful callings. Allow Spring to quicken within you the hope of becoming the person you always imagined you could be- then act on that knowing. Risk the ordinary to gain the extraordinary self that you are.

I invite you to allow the Resurrection of your True Self to take place.  Give birth to your Wiser Self through your attention and conscious actions. Be in communion with the feeling, hearing, seeing, knowing Being whose inner guidance we so often diminish and silence by allowing our usual habitual reasonable limiting thoughts and behaviors to numb us to the glorious potent possibilities that are clamoring to get our attention.

Give yourself over to those dreams and tend the seeds that have been planted in your imagination. A new life, a New You is possible now. Be bold. Be fierce. Spring is for Resurrection.

THE PAST INFORMS THE PRESENT

 Monday March 3^rd   1969, just one week after my 14^th  birthday  was a chilly, grey morning in Yonkers, New York and there was a blanket of snow on the ground when I woke. I asked if I could stay home from school- I was a freshman -and was surprised and delighted when my lame request for a ‘snow day’ was granted.

 

I could hear my father and grandmother in the kitchen having coffee. My mother was sitting on the couch mending underwear. Daddy came in and took her pulse, something he did every morning since her heart attack nearly two years ago.  If her heartbeat was above a certain rate, she took a pill, otherwise, she was stable and on the mend. On this morning, her heart rate was up a bit, so she took her medicine, a new prescription. I remember my father saying that as he opened the bottle for her.

 

I was still in my nightie, sitting in the swivel rocking chair, my favorite spot. My dad went to shave. Mom resumed sewing and I resumed rocking…I was facing her, looking out the big windows towards the Hudson River and watching the clouds.  The sewing dropped into her lap and her head came up. Then she just fell back, and off to the side and I yelled to my father and grandfather, “Something’s wrong with Mommy!” 

Next thing I know, the three of us were rubbing and patting her arms. Her lips were blue. I knew she was dying and would soon be dead. I stepped back. My Dad called for an ambulance and we scooted her onto the floor so my Dad could  give her mouth to mouth and my grandfather rushed me from the room. I remember my grandma handing me a clothes to put on, and the sound of the paramedics pounding up the 4 flights of stairs to get to her. I was in Grandma’s bedroom, hands like ice. Terrified.  Just as I walked into the kitchen, my grandmother closed the kitchen door so I wouldn’t see them carry her body out. But I could hear them. And I knew. She was buried on what would have been her 46^th birthday.  That was 45 years ago today. 

 

There were a great many changes in the years that followed and I was, for the most part, on my own from that day forward. Clueless about so many things and ignorant of how to be a woman in a ‘man’s world’.  I fled to college at age 17 on a scholarship, and there I had a taste of the friendships, community and belonging that I longed for. I felt at home there, but I was unable to know how much my future was to be colored with struggle and loss as a result of those early years. But I learned, and slowly raised myself to be the person I’d wanted to become.

 

That 14 year old self is still with me, though I have coaxed her into the present and integrated her into this life and the woman I’ve become. She has helped me think young, take risks, play music, study fascinating subjects and meet interesting people. She still helps me be silly, reminds me to slow down, and to watch the stars. Through honoring my  awareness of her desire to connect, to learn, to explore I have stayed young, vital and curious.

 

At 59 years old I still sometimes find myself back in that living room, but no longer as a spectator. I now I put my hand on the shoulder of my 14 year old self, turn her to face me, hug her, and lead her back to the life we have created and continue creating.

 

This coming year I am consciously devoting to doing the things I have dreamed of doing since those early days. In deference to raising my own two children,  I never have explored the world or traveled to find the places where my ancestors are still singing and telling stories . Now my girls are in their 30’s and I’m about to be a Grandma. It’s time to travel, to visit old friends & make new allies, before I ‘settle down’. I’m looking forward to this journey and to all the adventures along the way as I continue to follow the dreams and desires that have been whispering to me through the years, and I can almost feel my parents and grandparents smile at me from the other side.