CHOOSING HAPPINESS Part One

For so many people, life is a cocktail of obligation and stress with moments of ease, pleasure and connection…but not too much pleasure…and only if it’s ‘earned’. Sounds crazy, right?   It is.
Some people learn to choose happiness, and experience a background of connection and ease with moments of stress.  Less stress, greater ease means you’ll have more time, better health, fewer conflicts and faster resolutions to those you do have. Better than all that is the feeling of expansion, of ‘rightness’ that slowly becomes the norm rather than the exception.

Let me be clear: By suggesting that you choose happiness, I am NOT suggesting that you live in some unicorn-filled fairy land in which you put on a happy face…far from it. What I am suggesting is that you STOP living in the consensual trance that uses fear and approval to keep you doing what you don’t want to do for people for people whose opinions do not matter.

 You can alter the way you experience life by dedicating yourself to practices which will set you on a far more satisfying path than the one you may be on. Start Here…

 

Practice One: Trust your experience and your body (your senses) more than your mind. Your mind will present old repetitive thought patterns as if those thoughts are the truth and the promised outcome will be your reality. It’s bullshit a lot of the time. The mind lies.  Notice…If you keep doing the same thing and you get the same unsatisfying results , whatever you’re doing isn’t working for you. Your mind may tell you to do it louder, repeat it more, explain, defend and justify yourself….UG…no. Do. Something. Else.

“It is estimated that about 95% of our seemingly conscious “choic­es” are not choices at all, but behavioral decisions predetermined by our past associations. This, combined with our tendency to skip over or dismiss the information we receive as hunches, intuitions, and sensations, keeps us stuck.” From the Book of How

 One way to start playing with this practice is to discipline yourself to say yes when you mean yes and NO when you mean NO. So often stress is produced by saying ‘yes’ to please, to look good, to gain favor or to obligate someone, rather than feeling that YES in the gut. So please start here. Stop before you agree to do something and check in with yourself.

Do what makes you happy. Don’t do what makes you miserable.  And this does not mean to go tell people what they should do, so you can be happy! Learning to choose Happiness, is all about being responsible for and kind to yourself. You don’t have to defend, justify or explain a ‘no’ answer. Would you try to explain why you don’t like broccoli?  No.  Enough said. Carry on.

Practice Two: Restoring  Basic Kindness. Rest when you feel tired. Eat when you are hungry. Go to the bathroom when you gotta go. Sounds easy, right? Well here’s your two week challenge: See how often you can catch yourself ignoring, denying or suppressing the bodily sensations that tell you to eat, rest or eliminate…and give yourself permission instantly to give your body what it’s asking for. I hear your mind right now, arguing the case to postpone, so knock it off.  Breathe. Connect. Eat, Rest, Eliminate.

OK…I’ll be back in 2 weeks with the 2^nd installment of this conversation. Feel free to direct your thoughts to me at raven@stresswizardcoaching.com