Coffee and chocolate both start out as bitter beans,
but add the curiosity and ingenuity of humans and they have become two of the
worlds most valued and esteemed edibles. If you are a coffee drinker then you
know the comfort and pleasure of that first sip of really good coffee. Not only
is it delicious, but that little mental boost, that feeling of the film peeling
off the eyes, and the deeper awareness of connection, of ‘rightness’ with the
world in front of us is also part of our love of coffee. It enhances our desire
to think, chat, connect, and that little punch of caffeine is good for
relieving that morning congestion.
The history of coffee stretches back to Ethiopia, and
regular use of coffer dates as far back as the 10th century. By the
16th century the use of coffee had spread to Turkey and the rest of
the Middle east, then spread to Italy, Europe and the Americas. (Thanks Wikipedia)
And then there’s Chocolate. Chocolate, the fermented,
roasted and ground beans of the Theobroma cacao can be traced to pre-Olmec
people with evidence of chocolate beverages dating back to 1900 BC. Yes…that
long ago. As a bitter beverage. Chocolate also made its debut in Spain and then
spread to all of Europe in the 1500’s. Eventually through the addition of sugar
and centuries of experimentation, we have the chocolate we know and love today.
Similarly, you either love chocolate or you don’t.
.and the soothing, sensual, free radical clearing benefits of good quality dark
chocolate are well known. Comforting ourselves
with chocolate, giving it to express love, drinking it on a cold winter’s day,
and of course chocolate is a well-known remedy for PMS, winter blues and lost
love. Of course there are now proven
health benefits of dark chocolate as well, good for the heart, cholesterol,
blood pressure and as we know, boosts our sex drive.
So…why am I going on and on about coffee and chocolate? Something struck me about bitterness…and human
nature. If, instead of judging, ignoring
and giving up on harsh or bitter people…we employed our curiosity and ingenuity
to uncover what sweet or potent treasure at their core, many times a
transformation occurs that lets us see the real person and see their hidden
light. Yes, sometimes it’s hard work…and
requires experimentation, letting that curiosity (not judgment, not force) lead
the way…just knowing that something’s possible.
People aren’t just bitter beans by nature…something or
perhaps many things caused the mind to create a harsh shell to protect a
sensitive center. Keep people away then equals saving oneself from pain, rejection,
loss, judgment… and yet, with little exception (and yes, there are a few
exceptions) most people who are as unpalatable as raw chocolate, are seeking
acceptance, kindness.
I have witnessed the transformation of bitter people
into the equivalent of a bracing coffee, letting their intelligence and honesty
rise to the surface once someone is really listening. And I have known people
who, as they found that they were accepted truly seen, that bitter edge became as
smooth and delicious as a fine piece of chocolate.
So this is my thought…if with such patience and
meticulous curiosity we can turn bitter beans into such pleasure and comfort…what
could happen if we looked at our fellow human beings with more detached but
dedicated curiosity? We might find, that under inside that bitter bean, is
something wonderful, delightful and well worth the trouble finding.