THE COMFORT OF BITTER BEANS

Coffee and chocolate both start out as bitter beans, but add the curiosity and ingenuity of humans and they have become two of the worlds most valued and esteemed edibles. If you are a coffee drinker then you know the comfort and pleasure of that first sip of really good coffee. Not only is it delicious, but that little mental boost, that feeling of the film peeling off the eyes, and the deeper awareness of connection, of ‘rightness’ with the world in front of us is also part of our love of coffee. It enhances our desire to think, chat, connect, and that little punch of caffeine is good for relieving that morning congestion.  

The history of coffee stretches back to Ethiopia, and regular use of coffer dates as far back as the 10^th century. By the 16^th century the use of coffee had spread to Turkey and the rest of the Middle east, then spread to Italy, Europe and the Americas. (Thanks Wikipedia)

 

And then there’s Chocolate. Chocolate, the fermented, roasted and ground beans of the Theobroma cacao can be traced to pre-Olmec people with evidence of chocolate beverages dating back to 1900 BC. Yes…that long ago. As a bitter beverage. Chocolate also made its debut in Spain and then spread to all of Europe in the 1500’s. Eventually through the addition of sugar and centuries of experimentation, we have the chocolate we know and love today.

 

Similarly, you either love chocolate or you don’t. .and the soothing, sensual, free radical clearing benefits of good quality dark chocolate are well known.  Comforting ourselves with chocolate, giving it to express love, drinking it on a cold winter’s day, and of course chocolate is a well-known remedy for PMS, winter blues and lost love.  Of course there are now proven health benefits of dark chocolate as well, good for the heart, cholesterol, blood pressure and as we know, boosts our sex drive.

 

So…why am I going on and on about coffee and chocolate?  Something struck me about bitterness…and human nature.  If, instead of judging, ignoring and giving up on harsh or bitter people…we employed our curiosity and ingenuity to uncover what sweet or potent treasure at their core, many times a transformation occurs that lets us see the real person and see their hidden light.  Yes, sometimes it’s hard work…and requires experimentation, letting that curiosity (not judgment, not force) lead the way…just knowing that something’s possible.

People aren’t just bitter beans by nature…something or perhaps many things caused the mind to create a harsh shell to protect a sensitive center. Keep people away then equals saving oneself from pain, rejection, loss, judgment… and yet, with little exception (and yes, there are a few exceptions) most people who are as unpalatable as raw chocolate, are seeking acceptance, kindness.

I have witnessed the transformation of bitter people into the equivalent of a bracing coffee, letting their intelligence and honesty rise to the surface once someone is really listening. And I have known people who, as they found that they were accepted truly seen, that bitter edge became as smooth and delicious as a fine piece of chocolate.

 

So this is my thought…if with such patience and meticulous curiosity we can turn bitter beans into such pleasure and comfort…what could happen if we looked at our fellow human beings with more detached but dedicated curiosity? We might find, that under inside that bitter bean, is something wonderful, delightful and well worth the trouble finding.