“We
don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.” —Anais Nin
Finding Joy in small daily
routines and activities by deliberately calling your mind back
from thinking about ‘other things’ to the pleasure of the moment, is one of the
most powerful and satisfying habits you can have.
When we habitually ‘look ahead’,
waiting for ease, happiness, relief and pleasure to come as the result of
accomplishing a goal, attaining some new possession, or becoming proficient at
some skill, we program our mind to ignore or dismiss all of the love, ease, joy
and sensual pleasure available right here, right now in this very moment.
I know people who have gone
through the majority of their lives looking ahead to some future in which
happiness would arrive rather than enjoying the people and the life they have
had every day along the way. Do not make
that mistake. Start now…make Joy a
priority.
Slow down. Take in the little things. Call a
friend. Pet the dog. Play. Eat foods that you enjoy slowly with your full
attention. Take time to look up at the sky…watch the clouds, see the moon. Feel your body. Right now , go ahead. Breathe
and feel that breath…
There will always be more work
to do, grass to cut, dishes to wash, errands to run…but this moment in which
pleasure and connection and love are available to you is fleeting. The good
news is, there will be another moment following that one…but it won’t matter if
you are living in your head, thinking about the car, the errands, the job,
rather than experiencing the life you have in the here and now.
Life is
made of moments of experience that flow like a river, and if you’re in your
mind thinking about life rather than being present in the boat-the body - that
you are in, it’s only a matter of time before you find yourself stuck in the
weeds, crashed on the rocks or heading over the falls. Flowing with the river consciously
brings ease, timing, grace and pleasure into your days. And this is what
choosing happiness looks like on the most fundamental level.
Practice: Breathe, call yourself
back to your body, and experience the taste and warmth of that sip of coffee,
see the bird on the wire when you stop at the red light, notice the scent of
freshly cut grass as you take out the trash.
Treat Life as a game to be
played, not a race to be won. I mean
PLAY in the true rich sense of a child at play. Full in, complete attention,
sensation filled, fun, pleasurable play best describes the way people who love
their jobs, love their hobbies or love their relationships experience those
things. Take it on. Find ways to play. Cultivate a bigger broader sense of
humor. Get out of your comfort zone. Do the equivalent of barreling down the
tallest slide on the playground. And have fun with whatever you’re doing. Make
a game of annoying or difficult things. Stop for a snack when you’re done. Put
a gold star on your calendar…seriously, I know people who do this and just
enjoy the hell outta those little stars!
When Life is Play everything improves…your health, your looks, your relationships…and even the people around you benefit from your growing ease, humor and joy.
If Joy
were a pill it would be flying off the shelves. Well it’s free, and you can
have as much as you want. Having joy
does not depend on anything but your point of view.
I am reminded of the
neighborhood kids in the slum I grew up in…poor, dirty…often on the street late
at night on a Friday night…banging joyfully on steel drums originally made from
old trash cans…bringing a rich deep pleasure to the neighborhood that even had
the old grannies out swaying to the rhythm. Mindset, not circumstances makes
the difference between suffering and happiness.
No matter how much you think
your life may suck, you still have the ability to feel moments of true pleasure
and playful abandon. Take those moments, and make yourself-and the world
richer.
OK…I’ll
be back in 2 weeks with the final installment of this conversation. Feel free to
direct your thoughts to me at raven@stresswizardcoaching.com
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