Happy Hollerdays

Ho Ho Oh yes it’s the time of year for stomach tension, extra stress and ninja like emotional high wire acts that can go very, very wrong… Happy Holler Days.
So far, in my neighborhood alone, three neighbors have been fighting like stags during rutting season, and the cops showed up last night to put an end to the Hollerday festivities next door when tables and chairs started flying through the air like the Great Walenda’s. I have heard many a dark tale about the Hollerdays, from a teen making his parents eat in blessed silence for once (of course, he encouraged them with his father’s hunting rifle) to a wife who had her brother pose as her husband and invite the girlfriend to Hollerday dinner (that’s a great story) to the father to lied (literally, with a rope) his children to their chairs because they wouldn’t stop leaving the Hollerday table to talk on the phone…well… I bet you have a story or two of your own…
Oy. Do ya remember Festivus?
Festivus for the Rest of us? Well if you don’t remember what the actual celebration entails, please, let me remind you. During Festivus, the family gathers in the back yard around a pole and exchanges grievances. Simple. Honest. To the point.

I think that no matter what you celebrate, if you start with this little Festivus ritual every other Holiday tradition you may have will turn out better. Let off the steam and get over your grousing, judgments and self inflicted misery right off the bat. In fact wiffle bats may be in order…maybe even a good game of paintball before dinner to get some aggression handled that might otherwise ruin a perfectly good Hollerday meal.

By all means get it out of your system so that you can actually enjoy yourself and whomever you happen to have at your table this year. Look, even if you can’t stand Aunt Hilda or your stepmother or your in-laws…at least you can put a little fun in the family dysfunction by accepting their quirks without trying to change them for just this one lousy couple of days. I mean…getting or staying mad at predictable behavior is a dumb as getting mad at the cat for not barking like a dog.

Have a little fun. Take them (and yourself ) lightly. Agree with complaints. It’ll be confusing and entertaining. And will stop drama dead in it’s tracks.
“Why Raven I see you’re still a bitch.”
“ Indeed I am, thank you for noticing.”
There…was that so hard? See if you can serve the main course without the seasoning with bitterness, irritation or obligation. By the way, nobody likes the mandatory side dish of lukewarm passive aggression. Ug…this year, just dump it in the trash. I won’t tell.