Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Freedom, Friendship & Reality


Freedom begins by telling the truth about what we think, how we feel, what we’ve done and what we want. Often we lie via silence. Telling ourselves a lie, (I don’t want to hurt their feeeeelings.  OR  I don’t want to have a conflict)  to justify how much we  keep our mouths shut, while our jaws clench and our gut churns as we try to smile and nod our way through.  
 
Meanwhile the real reason we zip it, is that we want to control what others think of us, manipulate the way we present ourselves and pretend to be the way we think other people want us to be. OMG how exhausting and crazy is that? What a prisoner of lies we become once we start using silence while pretending that withholding  how we REALLY think and feel is somehow NOT lying. Wake up. Be who you really are. Be visible and real and allow people to love and appreciate the Real You, warts and all. Your real friends will be relieved and happy. Your fake friends will be gone like smoke in the wind. And you will be free. 

You can't change anyone. For your own sanity (and frankly, to be in touch with reality) you have got to give up hoping, wishing, manipulating, teaching, leading and convincing other people to change. In fact, when you really accept that managing your OWN life is a full time job, you will find that you automatically lay off the people around you. You will wake up.  There's something wonderful and freeing about this process.
 
Now, when you Do revise the way you think and react, the people around you will shift.  You can’t change them, but when  you transform your own understanding, when you change your relationship ‘dance’ every person in your life will respond.  Some  will respond effortlessly and subconsciously, some with a knowing smile, and others will resist every  new step. 
 
When you wake inside your life you  will also offer a subconscious invitation to everyone you know to wake a little bit. Many will welcome the shift in you, others will get mad. A few may vanish. Then you will find yourself surrounded by people who are wake and supportive. 

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