THE MANY VERSIONS OF OURSELVES

Have you ever stopped to consider how many versions of yourself there have been?  Maybe you can remember a defining moment when you experienced a dramatic shift of Being…becoming a new version of yourself by rising to face a difficulty or because of a deep relationship. Sometimes a defining moment completely transforms us- reshapes our personality in ways we could not have predicted.   I can look back and hardly recognize some of the ways I thought and felt…so afraid, so unable and unwilling to speak up…so quietly deceptive instead of honest and out loud.  And yet here I am today, so very different from some of the versions of myself others knew.

 I have come to have compassion for those versions of myself where once I felt shame or embarrassment.  And that feels good. I have discovered that the more I feel at ease with the versions I once was, the less irritated I am with people who resemble those same attitudes and fears I once held. It has taken me a long time to feel kindness for those other younger selves.

 

I invite you to take some time to think about your other Selves…those versions of you stacked neatly like Russian dolls within your memory, your body -and accept them. Offer them your love and gratitude.  Each time we make a dramatic shift, we take a different turn in the road, while the Old Self keeps marching on without us. Every time we come awake a little more and realize a fear is groundless, or say NO  or YES in new ways , or find ourselves broken open by deep love or by a loss- we have an opportunity to shed a version of ourselves, and let our light shine more brightly.

October always reminds me to turn back and look with fondness and gratitude upon those friends and ancestors now crossed over, who have been and still are part of me- part of my life.  When I contemplate and celebrate those who have gone before me, I also think about the other versions of myself, that in a different way, have faded or transformed to create the person I am today.

When I set out pictures of my loved ones, and bring flowers and candles to the table, I leave a place for the Other Selves…the versions of myself that are no longer who I am. I sometimes wonder if they have continued on in parallel timelines…and if so, I wish them well. May all their gates and paths be open. May our light shine.