Making the Past Work for You

Thirty three years ago, August 16th I was in Colorado visiting my sister for the summer and I got the call that changed my life forever. My father had a stroke and died suddenly in the funeral home he managed in Yonkers, New York. And, in addition to the shock of being without parents at 21 years of age, ( my mom died a few days after my 14th birthday) the more frightening thing was that I had no home to ‘go home’ to. We’d lived in the funeral home. Grandma had recently been hospitalized in a diabetic coma, and she died a few months later without regaining consciousness and without knowing, consciously at least, that her only child died before her. Grandpa want to live in an assisted living facility and I was adrift, and pretending that I was fine.

That was the beginning of a journey through which I first lost, and then found myself. Today as I look back, I am grateful for the circumstances of my life. In my memory, my parents are forever young. I will never see them aged and frail. I have never had to choose between my dreams and feeling that I had to live up to their expectations. I have been a free agent for a long time. Now, I consider myself lucky. In some ways I am still finding and reclaiming my young self, listening like a parent to what I yearn for, and making good on my own promises to myself. Overall, I am very happy.

My wish for you, is freedom from any remnants of your past that may still have a hold on your dreams.