THE MYSTERIOUS WORLDS WE LIVE IN

People often tell me things they won’t tell other people for fear they’d be laughed at or ridiculed.   Many times, the experiences they relate have a mysterious quality…something that expanded the way they think of the way reality works. Lately, I have realized how very important it is that these experiences are heard, validated and explored.  Not because we will explain or solve them, or even fully understand them, but because if they are denied and ignored we are robbed of their value. Mysterious yet real experiences  impact our lives, sometimes in profound ways.  When we consider that our Deep Mind, our subconscious mind, is the part of our awareness making the vast majority of our decisions (even though we believe otherwise) it would be wise to begin attending to the information and experiences which come through its gates.

“ Your conscious mind is like a tiny stowaway on a transatlantic steamship, taking credit for the journey without acknowledging the massive engineering underfoot.” INCOGNITO, The Secret Lives Of The Brain by David Eagleman

 Sure, some people are nuttier than a convention of squirrels. I’m talking about hearing very credible people, among them, policemen, doctors and nurses share incredible experiences of visits from the dead, dreams warning of a disaster, synchronicities that led them down a certain path, precognitive visions, and much weirder tales. 

I am writing this blog to tell you plainly, that these mysterious events we  have are real…That our reality is embedded in a larger deeper reality, and that we can awaken more consciously to this interplay between the seen and unseen worlds.  As we do this, we evolve.  This is not supernatural or paranormal woo-woo…it is the next step in our development as human beings to integrate more of the information (signals, frequencies, realities) that lie just at the edges of our perception. 

 

 There are PLENTY of things that are quite real that we cannot see or hear. Ask any scientist if you want a quick education in the limitations of our sensory system compared to the input that’s available.  Yet, it is the nature of our minds to develop, grow, expand and evolve…and I am inviting you to ‘step out of the closet’ and share your experiences, coincidences, visitations, encounters and dreams.

 

 A few experiences that have been shared with me:

A mother, (also an ER doctor) was almost home from work at 2:30am when she saw a large owl swoop down in front of her car…Without knowing why, she turned the car around and headed back towards the hospital, jumping on the highway to get there faster.  A few minutes from the exit she saw a car on the side of the road and realized suddenly it was her daughter’s car. She pulled over and discovered that the car had run out of gas while her daughter was on her way back from a wedding reception. The daughter thought mom had received her text, but mom’s phone was still in her locker at the hospital.

A Hospice nurse was attending a woman who was actively dying. Mrs. X, would occasionally wake and ask for her brother, who was on a flight in from California. The woman sat straight up, looked at the empty doorway with a radiant smile, said “There you are!” and died. They noted the time of death as 2:27ET.  Forty minutes later hospice received a phone call to notify them that Mrs. X’s brother who had had a lay-over in Denver, collapsed and died of a heart attack at the airport. He was pronounced dead at 2:25 ET.  The attending nurse was certain he’d come to get his sister.

There’s a former client who made or refused business deals (worth millions) based on whether or not he got the right sign from the universe. He was well -known for his ’nearly magical and uncanny’ business acumen. What people didn’t know was that he waited for a sign from pigeons. If he got the sign, he signed and if not, not. But for him, it was 100% reliable. Once, he was in a meeting on the 23rd floor of a building, negotiating with the CEO of a huge company that really wanted the deal. The CEO wanted him to sign right then and there- something this guy never ever did without a pigeon report. Just as he got up and walked towards the window to take a break from the meeting and grab a coffee, a pigeon smashed into the glass and plummeted 23 floors to the pavement. He did not sign, and oh yeah, that business went down the drain when the CEO was arrested for fraud later that year.

This is not coincidence. This is communication.  When we enter the woods, there is always a hand that can show us the way back home…I am reminding you that the world as you think it is, is  filtered by your beliefs and expectations. Seeing isn't believing...open mindedness allows deeper seeing.  Through these mysterious experiences you can have glimpses of the true nature of the complexity of the natural world and the magnificent nature of the being that you are.

If you have had unexplainable experiences feel free to share them with me. Send to:  raven@stresswizardcoaching.com.  I will listen with an open mind.  I have had plenty of edgy experiences myself, and my life has been shaped by them in remarkable ways.

IS THE GRIM REAPER REALLY GRIM?

Death is inevitable.  This is something we deny, hide from, think of as failure and pretend will never happen to us.  We pump embalming fluid into the bodies our dead, seal them in expensive air-tight satin filled boxes and pretend that they will be preserved as we remember them forever.

We barely mourn because we don’t have permission to fully express our grief without being shushed, or told they’re in a ‘better place’ or that they’re not dead, just transformed. Well fine. The dead may be alive elsewhere (and I'm fairly sure that they are), but their warm flesh will forever be missing from our arms once they have shrugged off their bodies. Mourning is healthy natural, and useful.  We may find ourselves kinder, more attentive and more present to the living if we face the reality that everyone we know will leave us someday- unless of course, we leave them first. Death reminds us to Live- and to value and appreciate our loved ones today.

We live in a culture in which death is seen as  ‘failure’, rather than as a passage that we attend to with intention and the fullness of our presence.  We have made Death out to be a villain, the Bad Guy.  The Grim Reaper. Yet  Hospice workers, those who live in the presence of Death constantly are some of the happiest,  most aware people I have ever known. 

My life has been framed by death. My father was an embalmer and funeral director, so I had a front row seat when it came to all that goes into making a body ready for burial, not to mention living upstairs from the host of grieving people and the slow parade of  dead that passed through the funeral home.  I have had plenty of firsthand, experience also- starting with my Mother who died suddenly just after I’d turned 14 and my Dad who  died when I was 21.  

Death is not evil and is certainly not failure.  If we allow ourselves to truly consider and contemplate our own deaths, something wonderful and life affirming happens.  We make better choices, we spend time on what is important, we stop sweating the small stuff, we give up fighting over petty grievances…we grow up. People who have experienced  a brush with death or the experience of losing many loved ones, often develop a kinship with death. One in which Death is a Guide, Teacher and Ally rather than a Grim Reaper to be feared and avoided.

Death, when he comes for me, will not be Grim. He will be beautiful and shining, and he will hold open a magnificent door, and hold out his hand to guide me across to that lovely place where I will be welcomed and celebrated by those who have gone before me. And I will smile at him and take his hand. In the meantime, I intend to Live and Love with every ounce of my being, I will play hard and enjoy all the wonders life offers, so than when Death comes, I will have no regrets.

 

 

 

Those who attend to the dying know that there is something mysterious and magnificent happening as we approach death. Here is  an article & a video, if you wish to deepen your appreciation of this subject. 

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/02/health/dreams-dying-deathbed-interpretation-delirium.html?_r=0 

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbnBe-vXGQM     TedX talk

 

 

 

 

 

NOBODY'S HAPPY ALL THE TIME

Two potent skills that that I highly recommend developing are self-awareness and living more in the moment than in your head. These are attainable and worthwhile aspirations, yet neither will give you a life in which you are La-Dee-Da happy all the time.

Those chipper, cheerful people with the perpetual smiles and overly friendly voices who spout positivity the way pigeons drop turds on statues are, if you watch carefully, holding a mask in place that covers an ordinary human with ordinary moods underneath the façade. It’s exhausting to be ‘on’ all the time, not to mention phony.

 

Nothing will deliver a fully conflict free, stress free life. And that’s OK. We’re designed to handle and grow from the challenges of loss, uncertainty, change and conflict.  In fact, when we have challenges that make us break old patterns, think outside the box, learn new skills and develop new ways of navigating life we are actually happier and healthier! We require a certain amount of friction through which we evolve, get smarter, feel accomplished, learn what we’re good at and discover when to ask for help.

So if you imagine that you can or should attain some mindset in which you’d  never be angry, sad, hurt, or annoyed …just stop tormenting yourself right now. Yes, there will be challenges,  BUT you can face those challenges with grace and openness, rising to meet them rather than feeling like a victim. Here’s how to start…

 

By shifting you attention from the stories, events and beliefs that trigger feelings of fear and helplessness to noticing what is going right in your life and in the world, you can create a background feeling of safety and rightness to rely on when those conflicts come your way. 

Get out of your head ...and into your body.

I have a friend who calmed himself throughout a long ordeal of chemotherapy, exactly this way. He constantly interrupted the endless loop of doom stories his mind by noticing the kid laughing down the hall, watching the clouds cross the sky, asking for a foot-rub, playing cards with his nephew...until over time, he told me he just got to a place in which he knew, even if he died, especially if he died, he was not going to waste any moments that he COULD be enjoying.

   

That is the key to having a life grounded in happiness. Not perpetual happiness without anger or fear  or irritation, but a life in which returning to happiness is something that you know how to do and can do reliably.    Learning how to notice what is good and right in your life, in your heart , in others and in the world every day is good medicine. Good for your health, your relationships and every other aspect of your life. 

This one practice makes all the difference when you’re not feeling happy.  It shows you how to still take in the pleasure of a sunrise, or the comfort of a friend rather than isolate yourself and feel like a victim. It helps you see what you’ve done well regardless of mistakes you’ve made…and best of all, with time, you will come to a place of knowing- a feeling deep in your bones- that in times of trouble, someone, somehow will always have your back. 

 

A NEW LOOK AT LOVE

Well, next month is valentine's Day, so we are inundated with hearts and flowers and notions of romance. But really...what is love? It's much bigger that the brief romantic encounters we have- deeper than the sentimental Hallmark movies, and ultimately, more important to us than anything else in our lives. 

 

We long for it. We fear it. We fall into in and out of it. We withhold it from ourselves, and seek it even though it’s around us and inside us. It is the force that creates and sustains the world.  What if, just for a moment, you stopped trying to feel worthy of love, quit wondering if you were loved, stopped seeking love and simply allowed yourself to have the love that is already always waiting for you? Let the appreciation that others have for you wash over you like a gentle breeze. Let yourself feel the embrace of the sun above and the ground below you. Love is vast and ever-present.

What if you stopped idealizing, sentimentalizing and romanticizing love just for a minute? You might begin to recognize that we are all ‘in love’- much the same way that fish are in water. It surrounds, supports, nourishes, penetrates us. It is possible, when we stop striving, seeking and obsessing, to notice that love simply is.

When we try to put love into words, we end up with categories…romantic love, familial love, brotherly/sisterly love, parental love, self-love…and we have made up plenty of rules and stories about how all those relationships are ‘supposed’ to look.  Yet, when we feel loved, whether by a friend, a spouse or a dog we are ‘ourselves’ no longer putting on an show or trying to ‘win’ love.

The common ground that all forms of true love share is acceptance. To be seen and known and accepted as we are- warts and all. This is one reason we gravitate towards having pets. We are free to love and feel loved by a dog or cat no matter what we do or don’t do. No matter what failures or faults we may have. Love is a level of acceptance in which we identify with the ‘other’ as part of ourselves. When we love, we overlook  faults, get mad and get over it, and feel at ease and connection rather than longing.  

So…the more willing we are to be kind to ourselves, and to let go of the harsh critical way we talk to ourselves, the easier it becomes to know that love has always been patiently waiting for us.  As my friend Mark said, “We have to stop being Shouldaholics”…to experience Being in Love. So stop a moment, and allow Love to catch up.

 

My experience tells me that we are made from the love that we seek, that love is a conscious thread connecting everything and everyone, and that we can experience all the wonder and brilliance that love is, any time we choose. Living in Love is freeing and healing. And I don’t mean feeling agog with sappy sentimentality- on the contrary- the Love we are in is a potent, fierce, powerful, creative energy which burns bright with clarity and purpose.

Just for the next few minutes, I invite you to pause, and let yourself feel that you are Seen and Known. You are Accepted and Valued as you are.   You are loved.

  XO

Raven 

PS: If you’d like to experience what I am expressing in this post, check this out.

http://www.stresswizardcoaching.com/#!classes-and-workshops/f0fes

SEVEN TIPS FOR HOLIDAY HAPPINESS

1. Shopping: Instead of getting frantic about presents, remember that what many people would prefer is time. Give a gift of babysitting, or doing a friend's laundry a few times, or cooking a few meals for someone.

2. Take care of yourself no matter what. Look, if you're fried it just doesn't matter that 'everything got done' . If you feel like crap or your nerves are toast, you will may become a seething dark cloud in the corner rather than a joyful participant.
So...sleep, take breaks, breathe...

3. Ask for help. Even if you'd just like someone to go shopping with you, making jokes and having fun will bring life and joy to the task.

4. Don't do what you don't want to do.  Find creative solutions. If you don't want to make the pies, hand out the recipes or buy pies, or hey...get a fruit basket and say you're the voice of healthy for the holidays. (Ok maybe not that last one, LOL)

5. Put on some music. Does not have to be Holiday music, but it can be if you like. Music while you do other things will help relax your mind, and you will be more in the moment and less in your head thinking about what you have to do next.

6. Use gift bags instead of wrapping. Easier, cheaper, faster and just as attractive. If you just neeeed ribbon, tie some to the handles.

7. Put yourself on your shopping list. Get yourself something that you want that will please you. A book, a massage something that will give you some ease in the midst of all the Busy.

A Thanksgiving to Remember: You're Invited, Bring the Turkey.

 

THE TRANSITIONS HOTEL

This is the time of year when we often think of our ancestors, and of friends we love who are deceased. I am going to share an ongoing experience I have of a meeting place between the worlds.  I regularly dream of a place I have come to call The Transitions Hotel. It is a large grey stone structure, on a city street, with huge beautiful glass doors. I could describe, in vivid detail, the street the shops and restaurants which I have gone to in the dreamspace, and even the small indoor ‘mall’ with its shops and shopkeepers.

 But that’s not what’s remarkable about The Hotel. What’s remarkable is that it is a place in the Between where the newly dead can acclimate to their new existence, where the living can come to meet with those who have crossed, where people who may be close to death can visit and where the living and dead alike take 'classes' about the nature of reality, and about the transition between living as an embodied being and living after the body quits. It’s a meet-up location in the Bardo. I have been there so often I sometimes find myself in The Hotel during meditation when I am fully awake. It is fascinating, not at all a frightening place. I have been shown amazing things about weather, the nature of reality and the way our energies

 I  once dreamed I met a friend that was lost and afraid, looking for a ride. He was someone I’d never known to be afraid of anything. He got in my car and I knew I needed to take him to The Hotel. He was greeted warmly and welcomed by staff who led him inside and when they went in through a side door, I saw for an instant that on either side of the door, there were beautifully rendered barely visible drawings of Anubis. Several days later, I found out that this friend, that I had not seen or heard from for 8 months, was  at home in hospice care and dying from very aggressive cancer that was only recently discovered.  I was glad that I got to see him in the Dreaming, and know he was being cared for. Most of my experiences at The Hotel aren’t that dramatic, but I wanted to share one that had a clear connection in waking life.

 Sometimes, like last night, I’m in ‘mixed company’ and have no idea which people are embodied dreamers and which are those who have crossed.  The courtyard was set up with tables and chairs and we were chatting, waiting for a speaker to begin. It was a talk about helping the living relax about staying in contact with the ‘dead’ (they’re not dead, just without a dense body, so that word, irks some of them) . 

Now, you might think that I have gone ‘round the bend or that I’m delusional or just bat-shit crazy…but…if you have ever had a dream of a deceased loved one, or a feeling that you were being guided or looked after, or a ‘coincidence’ that reminded you of someone who has passed, think again.  I assure you, that there is a great deal that you can do to bridge the gap between the worlds, to relax about death and what comes after, and to more directly have contact with those who have gone before us.

 My friend, Whitley, recently posted a journal entry about his ongoing contact with his recently deceased wife.( http://www.unknowncountry.com/journal/weave-journey-meeting#.VjtbjEpdt8I.facebook ) which inspired me to write this blog. I encourage you to read it.

 You too have the ability to find that place where it is easy to communicate with those who have crossed, and where you can, if you wish, also learn more about the nature of your own soul and the magnificent reality in which we participate. If you want to explore these ideas more deeply, my first suggestion is to start keeping a journal in which you record dreams, coincidences, synchronicities and intuitive experiences.    May your dreams bring you Joy.