Thursday, July 23, 2009
Becoming The Person we Wish to Be
When people say “ That’s Just The Way I Am” it’s not only a lie but it’s the worst excuse on record.
The plasticity of our brain allows us to be and become the way we imagine ourselves to be. It’s only when we laboriously and doggedly reinforce the same old stuff that we find ourselves to be stuck in the same old rut with the same old excuses year after year.
Who do you want to be? To be like? What experiences would you love to have? How do you stop yourself, lie to yourself and use your fears as excuses to suppress your desires?
What if the jail of your mind were open, would you escape? Well it IS open, and you are the jailer.
‘Who we are’ changes, evolves, shifts. Memories are altered to fit our beliefs and expectations and under stress we uncover strengths and weaknesses we never dreamed were part of our personality. Even our likes and dislikes, beliefs, values, expectations change. Trying to ‘find yourself’ is like holding sand. No matter how hard you grip, most of it will slip between your fingers. The only way to ‘know who you are’ is to be present in the moment often, observe your thoughts and actions, accept how you are wired and then , in ‘knowing who you are in this moment’ you have some say-so in what future moments may look like.
The more we can notice and respond, the less we react, resist and fight.
Observe, accept, self correct…and we, through time become a blend of the person we aspire to be and the wiring we got through our upbringing. We can become exactly the person our gut tells us lives deep within our awareness…that strong, brave, kind, creative soul we’d like to be remembered as. You are not a prisoner of your personality. Your personality is just a template that you have the power to rearrange.
You can use imagery deliberately, to creatively alter, upgrade, transform the person you know yourself to be.
How would your life change if you did more what you enjoyed instead of what you thought you “should” do, put more time into helping yourself over helping others for now, and consciously removed from your life that which does not support your health and well being? Enter a reality in which you experience a day in your life that is an expression of this more self aware, satisfied version of yourself.
What if, instead of explaining, justifying and defending, you simply took action that benefited you and let the chips fall where they may?
Here’s a practice for Becoming A New You:
Every day for at least 6 weeks, Spend 15 minutes in a daydream ( meditation, visualization) in which you practice having experiences in which you act with clarity and feel powerful and happy as things work out quickly and well. You get the job, or the girl or the raise…you’ve been resigned to not having. Feel the outcome in your bones, because THAT’S what informs your subconscious to move you towards that experience. Suspend your lies about “the way things are” (and the way YOU are) long enough to revel in the joy of being and having for those 15 minutes. Then, let that developing inner version of yourself inform your thoughts, your decisions, and you can walk out of jail, free to have the life you want.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Reduce Stress, Get More Sleep
Stress and Sleep go hand in hand. I mean, how much can you sleep if you fave flight/fight chemicals coursing through your veins, right?
It takes a while to wind down, sure, but if you tell yourself you HAVE to sleep less, MUST do more, and SHOULD be able to cope...well...you are asking for a Brick-To-The-Head event to help you get the memo to
S L O W D O W N.
If you are stressed, you require good regular sleep to recover. There will ALWAYS be something else to do, someone else with expectations, another task, job, meal, person to take care of...but let's face cold hard facts:
Without you, everyone would adjust and life would go on with just as much 'stuff' for the next person to do...or not do. You can enjoy your life, or drive yourself batty between here and the grave so, honestly, why don't you get a good night's sleep and let your mind and body recharge.
We NEED enough restful sleep to balance our hormones (yes, even you men), to clear out wastes, to repair cells, to recharge our brain, to discharge and work out emotional issues ...and so much more... so PLEASE go to bed. Create a bedtime routine that signals you to wind down and rest. Walk, meditate, watch a little boob-tube, read a book, do some yoga...brush, floss... whatever tells your mind and body it's time to go nite-nite. If you have trouble getting or staying asleep, check out these basics.
Here are some suggestions to help you Sleeeeeeeeeep
Noise, even fairly low level affects sleep because our Old Reptilian Brains stay on guard in case the noise ends up being an animal or an intruder. This is why TV’s in the bedroom make for lousy sleep and lucid dreaming. Try ear plugs if your neighbors are loud or your dog (or mate)snores. If you have small kinds and need to hear them, be sure you nap or meditate each day to help your system make up for that light restless sleep at night.
Light level is another critical factor in deep sleep and REM sleep. Too much light (for some, even a night light is too much) affects the percentage of brain chemicals that cause us to enter and exit sleep mode. Light in the bedroom is another hindrance to solid sleep. Use dark curtains, or try a satin blackout eye band. $4 at any drugstore or Target.
Room too hot. Fresh cool air and good air circulation also play a role in sound solid sleep. When we sleep our bodies are working hard eliminating toxins and cleansing the system. When it’s too hot, some of those processes are affected, again making for restless sleep and not enough REM time.
Eating before bed. Goes without saying that any food taken within 3 hours of bedtime will be digesting which also interferes with a good night’s sleep.
Not enough exercise. Lots of the time we exercise our mouths and our minds all the livelong day, and feel exhausted, but cannot settle down. Well, DUH...your body needs to be tired. Your body REQUIRES good sweaty exercise to discharge all that chemical stew you've been storing up all day. Just do it. Before dinner or after dinner...a bike ride, 45 minutes of cardio, a run, dancing, exceptionally energetic sex...whatever it takes...just give your body the work out it needs and I promise you that you won't be sorry.
Well, there are plenty of other sleep tips, but these ought to get you started...hell...I'm tired just writing about it...think I'll go meditate.
OH...The July Issue of Stress Wizard's Reality Check E-Newsletter is out. If you'd like to get it, just drop me a line with your email address.
Happy Napping...
It takes a while to wind down, sure, but if you tell yourself you HAVE to sleep less, MUST do more, and SHOULD be able to cope...well...you are asking for a Brick-To-The-Head event to help you get the memo to
S L O W D O W N.
If you are stressed, you require good regular sleep to recover. There will ALWAYS be something else to do, someone else with expectations, another task, job, meal, person to take care of...but let's face cold hard facts:
Without you, everyone would adjust and life would go on with just as much 'stuff' for the next person to do...or not do. You can enjoy your life, or drive yourself batty between here and the grave so, honestly, why don't you get a good night's sleep and let your mind and body recharge.
We NEED enough restful sleep to balance our hormones (yes, even you men), to clear out wastes, to repair cells, to recharge our brain, to discharge and work out emotional issues ...and so much more... so PLEASE go to bed. Create a bedtime routine that signals you to wind down and rest. Walk, meditate, watch a little boob-tube, read a book, do some yoga...brush, floss... whatever tells your mind and body it's time to go nite-nite. If you have trouble getting or staying asleep, check out these basics.
Here are some suggestions to help you Sleeeeeeeeeep
Noise, even fairly low level affects sleep because our Old Reptilian Brains stay on guard in case the noise ends up being an animal or an intruder. This is why TV’s in the bedroom make for lousy sleep and lucid dreaming. Try ear plugs if your neighbors are loud or your dog (or mate)snores. If you have small kinds and need to hear them, be sure you nap or meditate each day to help your system make up for that light restless sleep at night.
Light level is another critical factor in deep sleep and REM sleep. Too much light (for some, even a night light is too much) affects the percentage of brain chemicals that cause us to enter and exit sleep mode. Light in the bedroom is another hindrance to solid sleep. Use dark curtains, or try a satin blackout eye band. $4 at any drugstore or Target.
Room too hot. Fresh cool air and good air circulation also play a role in sound solid sleep. When we sleep our bodies are working hard eliminating toxins and cleansing the system. When it’s too hot, some of those processes are affected, again making for restless sleep and not enough REM time.
Eating before bed. Goes without saying that any food taken within 3 hours of bedtime will be digesting which also interferes with a good night’s sleep.
Not enough exercise. Lots of the time we exercise our mouths and our minds all the livelong day, and feel exhausted, but cannot settle down. Well, DUH...your body needs to be tired. Your body REQUIRES good sweaty exercise to discharge all that chemical stew you've been storing up all day. Just do it. Before dinner or after dinner...a bike ride, 45 minutes of cardio, a run, dancing, exceptionally energetic sex...whatever it takes...just give your body the work out it needs and I promise you that you won't be sorry.
Well, there are plenty of other sleep tips, but these ought to get you started...hell...I'm tired just writing about it...think I'll go meditate.
OH...The July Issue of Stress Wizard's Reality Check E-Newsletter is out. If you'd like to get it, just drop me a line with your email address.
Happy Napping...
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Recognizing Stress & Some Quick Fixes
A comment came in with a question about how to recognize signs of stress and what to do to relieve it quickly. So...here we go. First of all, what we think of as stress is the product of many small stress filled moments that are unrelenting. In other words , with 'normal" stress, there is a specific event (a mugger jumps out of the shadows) , and the chemistry that our brilliant mindbody produces gives us the ability to run like the wind or fight like a Ninja. the running and/or fighting uses up the energy produced by the fight/flight chemicals and we experience a recovery phase in which our basic functions like digestion, come back on line.
When we get easily annoyed, pissed off. irritated, judgmental and well, generally live in a hothouse of deadlines, time constraints, pressure and crazy making circumstances, we make little doses of the same fight/flight chemicals All Day Long. We have not however run a marathon or fought off 6 muggers, so we start to fry (literally) and experience stress related symptons.
These may include:
Trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep, pushing elevator buttons that are already lit, anger on long lines in a store, feelings of overwhelm, restlessness, feelings of dread, IBS, constipation, lack of appetite, constant appetite, craving for salty/sweet foods or fats, irritability, fatigue, afternoon crash, acid reflux, skin problems, busy mind, forgetfulness, phobias, mild paranoia, road rage, jittery legs, inability to sit still, trouble waking up, overuse of coffee, red bull, sugar and other stimulants...and well...you get the point ...
Now, here are the top quick stress relievers that will bring down the levels of adrenanine and cortisol running wild in the streets of your inner landscape, and will cet loose the good balancing chemicals and hormones that let you breathe, digest your food and sleep ...ahhhh
1. Ten slow deep breaths. Really slow. With ALL of your attention on the sensations of breathing. If you do this every hour it will make a big difference,because it signals your brain to reduce the flight/fight teram.
2. Meditation . Any form guided, counting breaths, TM...whatever floats your boat. Learn it and do it for 20 minutes, even if you have to fir it in as a break or during lunch. before or after work does wonders also.
3. Exercise. Yes people real good old fashioned SWEAT is a big stress buster because (like running and fighting) it lets your body put the F/F team to good use, lifing, bike riding, swimming...whatever. But I don't mean wimpy half-assed pretend work outs, I mean real deal sweaty serious exercise. Get thee to a personal trainer if you have stress...or at least get a whop-ass video.
4. Music. Playing loud music, singing along or playing an instrument. All of these reduce stress and balance the brain.
5. Touch. Hugs. Massage. Wild sex. Good and good for changing the chemical channel .
6. Back to Basics Self Care: Eat whole foods every four hours and eliminate sugar, white flour and artificial sweetners. Stress burns out your system, eats up vitamin stores and generally screws up your immuine system. You NEED whole foods to restore your fried system if you have lots of stress. Quit moaning about how hard it is! It's no harder to carry an apple or banana than it is a candy bar or bag of chips, but it makes a HUGE difference to your body.
7. Laughter. really...tell jokes, rent comedy videos and take a minute or two to watch something funny on utube. This will also make a significant difference in your stress level.
8. Quit Pretending! Speak up! Stop staying 'yes' when you mean 'no' Ask for what you want, stop saying you are great when you feel like crap, and ask for freakin help when you need it. Start small and work your way up to the big stuff. You can doo eeeet.
OK...there are plenty more stress busting practices and habits but here are the 8 top tidbits that may not only help you get through the day but may even prevent that stress from taking years off you life and robbing you of life from your years!
When we get easily annoyed, pissed off. irritated, judgmental and well, generally live in a hothouse of deadlines, time constraints, pressure and crazy making circumstances, we make little doses of the same fight/flight chemicals All Day Long. We have not however run a marathon or fought off 6 muggers, so we start to fry (literally) and experience stress related symptons.
These may include:
Trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep, pushing elevator buttons that are already lit, anger on long lines in a store, feelings of overwhelm, restlessness, feelings of dread, IBS, constipation, lack of appetite, constant appetite, craving for salty/sweet foods or fats, irritability, fatigue, afternoon crash, acid reflux, skin problems, busy mind, forgetfulness, phobias, mild paranoia, road rage, jittery legs, inability to sit still, trouble waking up, overuse of coffee, red bull, sugar and other stimulants...and well...you get the point ...
Now, here are the top quick stress relievers that will bring down the levels of adrenanine and cortisol running wild in the streets of your inner landscape, and will cet loose the good balancing chemicals and hormones that let you breathe, digest your food and sleep ...ahhhh
1. Ten slow deep breaths. Really slow. With ALL of your attention on the sensations of breathing. If you do this every hour it will make a big difference,because it signals your brain to reduce the flight/fight teram.
2. Meditation . Any form guided, counting breaths, TM...whatever floats your boat. Learn it and do it for 20 minutes, even if you have to fir it in as a break or during lunch. before or after work does wonders also.
3. Exercise. Yes people real good old fashioned SWEAT is a big stress buster because (like running and fighting) it lets your body put the F/F team to good use, lifing, bike riding, swimming...whatever. But I don't mean wimpy half-assed pretend work outs, I mean real deal sweaty serious exercise. Get thee to a personal trainer if you have stress...or at least get a whop-ass video.
4. Music. Playing loud music, singing along or playing an instrument. All of these reduce stress and balance the brain.
5. Touch. Hugs. Massage. Wild sex. Good and good for changing the chemical channel .
6. Back to Basics Self Care: Eat whole foods every four hours and eliminate sugar, white flour and artificial sweetners. Stress burns out your system, eats up vitamin stores and generally screws up your immuine system. You NEED whole foods to restore your fried system if you have lots of stress. Quit moaning about how hard it is! It's no harder to carry an apple or banana than it is a candy bar or bag of chips, but it makes a HUGE difference to your body.
7. Laughter. really...tell jokes, rent comedy videos and take a minute or two to watch something funny on utube. This will also make a significant difference in your stress level.
8. Quit Pretending! Speak up! Stop staying 'yes' when you mean 'no' Ask for what you want, stop saying you are great when you feel like crap, and ask for freakin help when you need it. Start small and work your way up to the big stuff. You can doo eeeet.
OK...there are plenty more stress busting practices and habits but here are the 8 top tidbits that may not only help you get through the day but may even prevent that stress from taking years off you life and robbing you of life from your years!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Intention and Using Your Whole Brain
Well once again I am just about to enter teaching the third week of The Intent Group and already we are having some amazing insights revelations and concree results. I am surprised and pleased by how much I get my own ass kicked into gear by participating as a group member even though I'm facilitating the program. The 'Two Minds" we have are extremely powerful when they work cooperatively, and screw up our lives royally when we don't listen to the wisdom of each inner perspective.
There are ‘two of us’ in each of us…a left brain based conscious mind with a linear focus of awareness and a right brain based subconscious with an all knowing, non-local awareness.
You are like a lighthouse, with the ‘local’ awareness being what view one can see out of one lighthouse window, while what you ‘really are’ is the entire 360 view.
Another image : consider that you are a pulsing consciousness…like a heartbeat…LUB-now we’re ‘here’ and DUB-now we’re everywhere/everywhen.
During the LUB or conscious ‘in time’ awareness we just cant hold all that other info at once so the mind and beliefs and expectation filter out much of what is available. However, in the ‘DUB’ or subconscious side of our awareness, everything is available. This is how/why you may suddenly see/know information from the past or the future. The aperture between the two sides of our consciousness is open and can, with practice, be utilized more consciously.
It's not right brain over left or left over right- WE NEED THE WHOLE DAMN BRAIN working cooperatively or as it is said..." A house divided against itself..."
And that's what's going on when we "hold an intent" and well...NOTHING HAPPENS...
we ned the thoughts, emotions and dare I say ACTIONS to be in agreement before a pile of dirt and seed can become a garden.
Imagine that for every intent, there is an already completed manifest outcome.
Your thoughts, beliefs, expectations, behaviors…are the forces that guide your inner GPS…ALL roads are already there…the ones that take you to the outcome quickly and the ones that take you there eventually and the ones that take you somewhere else completely and the ones that take you really close…but no banana…
These “roads” are the pathways through time and space that your GPS, when you put in the coordinates properly, will unfailingly take you to. HOWEVER, this inner system, run by the mind/body energy, will deposit you on whichever road best matches the existing parameters of your thoughts, expectations, beliefs and actions. This is why if you WANT something BADLY, the energy of WANTING , which is actually focused on the “not having” creates more of itself. In other words, you are unintentionally programming for the road of longing for the thing or experience. SO…the trick is to clearly image the end result as if you already have it, vividly see, taste, touch, feel how you feel with your desire fulfilled, and revel in the sensations of satisfaction this process generates. Like a magnet…you will find yourself on the path through space/time, and your thoughts/beliefs/actions etc…will become aligned.
This is a CONSCIOUS process, in which you will learn to cooperate with the vast capacity of your R-brain and it’s deep subconscious processing. Whole brain. You need the whole damn brain aimed in the right direction. It’s not hard…when you reach for a pen, pick up the phone, get out of bed, get in your car…an enormous number of alignments occur all initiated by intent. You know how to do this so quickly that it is invisible to you…EXCEPT when you just can’t seem to get something to happen…THEN the place to look is all about what is out of alignment…learn to ask what am I thinking/feeling/expecting/doing that does NOT support the outcome I say I want? When you get that piece, the rest is cake!
Anyway...just reminding myself...and you...to use your noodle...all of it...and then well...life will sort itself out in our favor.
There are ‘two of us’ in each of us…a left brain based conscious mind with a linear focus of awareness and a right brain based subconscious with an all knowing, non-local awareness.
You are like a lighthouse, with the ‘local’ awareness being what view one can see out of one lighthouse window, while what you ‘really are’ is the entire 360 view.
Another image : consider that you are a pulsing consciousness…like a heartbeat…LUB-now we’re ‘here’ and DUB-now we’re everywhere/everywhen.
During the LUB or conscious ‘in time’ awareness we just cant hold all that other info at once so the mind and beliefs and expectation filter out much of what is available. However, in the ‘DUB’ or subconscious side of our awareness, everything is available. This is how/why you may suddenly see/know information from the past or the future. The aperture between the two sides of our consciousness is open and can, with practice, be utilized more consciously.
It's not right brain over left or left over right- WE NEED THE WHOLE DAMN BRAIN working cooperatively or as it is said..." A house divided against itself..."
And that's what's going on when we "hold an intent" and well...NOTHING HAPPENS...
we ned the thoughts, emotions and dare I say ACTIONS to be in agreement before a pile of dirt and seed can become a garden.
Imagine that for every intent, there is an already completed manifest outcome.
Your thoughts, beliefs, expectations, behaviors…are the forces that guide your inner GPS…ALL roads are already there…the ones that take you to the outcome quickly and the ones that take you there eventually and the ones that take you somewhere else completely and the ones that take you really close…but no banana…
These “roads” are the pathways through time and space that your GPS, when you put in the coordinates properly, will unfailingly take you to. HOWEVER, this inner system, run by the mind/body energy, will deposit you on whichever road best matches the existing parameters of your thoughts, expectations, beliefs and actions. This is why if you WANT something BADLY, the energy of WANTING , which is actually focused on the “not having” creates more of itself. In other words, you are unintentionally programming for the road of longing for the thing or experience. SO…the trick is to clearly image the end result as if you already have it, vividly see, taste, touch, feel how you feel with your desire fulfilled, and revel in the sensations of satisfaction this process generates. Like a magnet…you will find yourself on the path through space/time, and your thoughts/beliefs/actions etc…will become aligned.
This is a CONSCIOUS process, in which you will learn to cooperate with the vast capacity of your R-brain and it’s deep subconscious processing. Whole brain. You need the whole damn brain aimed in the right direction. It’s not hard…when you reach for a pen, pick up the phone, get out of bed, get in your car…an enormous number of alignments occur all initiated by intent. You know how to do this so quickly that it is invisible to you…EXCEPT when you just can’t seem to get something to happen…THEN the place to look is all about what is out of alignment…learn to ask what am I thinking/feeling/expecting/doing that does NOT support the outcome I say I want? When you get that piece, the rest is cake!
Anyway...just reminding myself...and you...to use your noodle...all of it...and then well...life will sort itself out in our favor.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Try a Mini-Vacation for Stress Relief and Renewal
This past weekend I went to Portland and had a mini vacation that left me feeling renewed, relaxed and excited about the things I saw. I traveled very light, left my laptop behind, and explored the beachfront, took pictures of huge rocks, bays, old growth trees, and all the things that excite me about nature. I visited a friend I have not seen in about 25 years and enjoyed the company, the conversation and the great breakfasts that we shared with laughter as we caught up on our lives.
If you think that you have to have two weeks away to recharge your batteries, think again. I can give you the recipe for renewal if all you have is a weekend to escape.
First stop complaining about not having time and/or money and take a weekend off. Visit someone you feel free to be 100% yourself with. If that's NOBODY go alone. Travel light and do not take work with you. Spend time in the sun to reset your rhythms and overcome jet-lag.
Get plenty of exercise especially out doors in the fresh air if possible. Do only things that REALLY interest you and take your time doing them. It's better to enjoy a few excursions that to rush around barely seeing what's in front of you. Eat good whole foods rather than use ' on vacation' as an excuse to eat crap that will make you feel tired, bloated and miserable.
Listen to your body. Eat when you are hungry and rest when you are tired.
Not only did I have a needed break from my usual routine, I got to experience old growth forests, smell the sea air, walk beaches where huge dartk rocks the sice of buildings jutted out of the water like ancient animals frozen in time...I saw a lighthouse (one of only 7 like it in the world) with a hand cut crystal lens, walked the riverfront in downtown Portlans where bridges seemed to grow like intricate metal wildflowers across the water while boats drifted by, and there were also long talks, long walks and lots and lots of laughter.
SO, if you could use a little R & R this summer but you're thinking of skipping a vacation, I encourage you to al least take a weekend to reduce stress and renew. I promise, you'll be glad you did! Pictures will follow later this week!
If you think that you have to have two weeks away to recharge your batteries, think again. I can give you the recipe for renewal if all you have is a weekend to escape.
First stop complaining about not having time and/or money and take a weekend off. Visit someone you feel free to be 100% yourself with. If that's NOBODY go alone. Travel light and do not take work with you. Spend time in the sun to reset your rhythms and overcome jet-lag.
Get plenty of exercise especially out doors in the fresh air if possible. Do only things that REALLY interest you and take your time doing them. It's better to enjoy a few excursions that to rush around barely seeing what's in front of you. Eat good whole foods rather than use ' on vacation' as an excuse to eat crap that will make you feel tired, bloated and miserable.
Listen to your body. Eat when you are hungry and rest when you are tired.
Not only did I have a needed break from my usual routine, I got to experience old growth forests, smell the sea air, walk beaches where huge dartk rocks the sice of buildings jutted out of the water like ancient animals frozen in time...I saw a lighthouse (one of only 7 like it in the world) with a hand cut crystal lens, walked the riverfront in downtown Portlans where bridges seemed to grow like intricate metal wildflowers across the water while boats drifted by, and there were also long talks, long walks and lots and lots of laughter.
SO, if you could use a little R & R this summer but you're thinking of skipping a vacation, I encourage you to al least take a weekend to reduce stress and renew. I promise, you'll be glad you did! Pictures will follow later this week!
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